Pictures released of the accident from county... / Mandy (Eriks Mom )Read >>
Pictures released of the accident from county... / Mandy (Eriks Mom )
Today in the mail I received the pictures from Erik's accident scene from the Wright County Sheriff. I have been trying to get them, and I think it's ironic they came today. One day before the 3 year anniversary of his death. I will be putting some of them in a separate photo album on his site in the next few days. They will be put on to show people that speeding is no joke. I needed to see them to get some closure on a few things and I'm glad I did. The car is way worse than any pictures we had before. Apparently in the impound lot the car was put "back together" as best they could. The car at the accident scene looks like crumpled tinfoil. It's horrible. Also the pictures I received have the helicopter landing etc...If you feel they will bother you, then please just don't look at them. I do feel however it's important to post them to bring closure for others and because it's reality. It's what happens when you don't take driving seriously. These pictures will be part of the new program for drivers ed in Wright County.
Eriks story choosen by Wright County / Mandy (Eriks Mom )Read >>
Eriks story choosen by Wright County / Mandy (Eriks Mom )
Eriks story has been choosen by Wright County to educate teens through "Safe Communities of Wright County" in a drivers ed program. His story will be told, along with pictures of the accident to educate them on what can happen when they are driving careless. Parents must attend this class with their teens. They will be using Erik's story for around the next 3 years in this program. It's bittersweet. Your happy that his story is going to be told over and over and teaching others and hopefully saving lifes. On the other hand, it's very sad it even has to be told and that the accident was bad enough to where they want to use it. Erik was just a normal kid, good kid, and it's good to show other teens that you don't have to be a problem child to have bad things happen. It can happen to anyone! I'm proud of you Erik. You will continue to change lives for years and years. I'll post more info on this program when i receive it.
Fighting against a monster for what used to be. For a glimpse of the person you once were, yearning for that normality.
Denial no longer an allowed emotion, making grief a reality, a bitter pill your forced to swallow daily.
Days are a blur of memories and emotions, expanding over a wide range.
You wonder how you got here and in all its irony you fight daily to stay afloat in a life you never asked for, nor would choose.
To survive you hold your head just above the pain, taking a breath of life when you can, fighting against its constant crushing current.
Most days you’re able to keep your head above it but barely, and the days when it pulls you under, it’s up to you whether you fight to the surface again, or fall to the bottom.
You find the strength to fight most days. Some days sinking to the bottom is an inviting thought if it would put an end to the fog, tiredness & drain.
The bottom is tempting, but it will only be felt by my feet pushing me upwards.
How did I get here, to a place where my son no longer lives, and the meaning of life, has lost its meaning.
Death is a common experience, but until it has entered your life and taken your child, the enormity of its impact can never be described or imagined.
You will never be the same.
You can choose to move forward and live life as a different person. Happiness can return but in a different form. Overshadowed by your loss.
You find death is no longer a fear, but an anticipated reunion, in which only god knows the date & time you will be attending.
To my son: You know my heart, & the portion you took with you.
To God: I know you don’t give us more than we can handle, but I think maybe you have given me more credit than I deserve.
To myself: Never give up on life, just don’t forget to live it. Don’t lose yourself along with your son.
February 16th, 2005 / Wes Black (Friend)
Hey Everyone,
On February 16th 2005, we lost one of our classmates in a car crash. I can't believe three years have past by this quickly, but we will never forget him. He was such a great friend to me, and he loved music, his cell phone, and many other things. Especially, his mom, Mandy. She is such a trooper through this greiving stages of her life. She has Dale, who is such a great guy, to comfort her through the good, and the sad moments that she remembers Erik. According to the song on the profile, Blurry by Puddle of Mudd, we do want to take it all away, and have him back in our lives. I will definitely try to be in town on February 16th and be around all of our friends who were great friends to Erik Scott Anderson.
This was sent to me by Erik's Stepmom. A quote she found in a book... / Sent To Eriks Mom (By Eriks Stepmom )Read >>
This was sent to me by Erik's Stepmom. A quote she found in a book... / Sent To Eriks Mom (By Eriks Stepmom )
"When you lose a child, you become someone you don't want to be, and you have to be that person for the rest of your life. I am a person I never wanted to be. A person who has lost a child."
For the Anderson's / Lisa Sexton (Auntie)
Dear Anderson Family,
If you read this, I just wanted to wish you my heartfelt condolences on the passing of Joe. I was shocked when Mandy told me this today and just wanted you all to know I am thinking of you and praying for you all. The first thought I had was picturing Erik in heaven standing with a group of other angels and waving his arm excitedly saying, "Look everyone! Here comes my Grandpa".
Our thoughts are with the Anderson family..... / Mandy (Eriks Mom )Read >>
Our thoughts are with the Anderson family..... / Mandy (Eriks Mom )
Today Erik's grandpa, Joseph Anderson was killed in a car accident. I'm in shock, i don't even know what to say. Our thoughts and prayers are with them all. I hope they find some comfort in knowing that he is with Erik. I know Erik was there to greet him........
I pray god gives them the strength they are going to need to get through this.
This holiday season has by far been the hardest since your death. It proved to me grief can do whatever it darn well pleases. It was still a nice Christmas, but the ache came back stronger than it had been earlier in this year and the tears came much easier than they have in a long time. Not surprising, the holidays are going to be the toughest time. It started before Thanksgiving and came in waves off and on. I talked to another mom that lost her 10 years old son, and she said the 3rd year holidays were horrible for her. The conclusion we came too was that it's more "real" by this time. More apparent your never coming back. The last few days I have been fine, but the weeks before were interesting. I don't think people realize how complicated grief really is. It's a far larger, and controlling emotion than people realize. Still, I'm in control of it. At times you feel your barely hanging on, but as long as YOU stay in control of it and are aware that it's normal and don't let it take complete control of you...you'll be fine. I know time heals, and brings new milestones where grief is concerned, but I'll get through them. It's a tough fight, but a fight I'm willing to go up against for the rest of my life. We were given the gift of life. Yours was taken, mine was not. God does not want me to waste the gift I was given because yours was taken. In my heart I know that......even if somedays I want to say BAD BAD words to the whole world. LOL :)
So, all in all our Christmas was nice. Dale & I have a good knack of taking any situation and making the best of it. It was a busy season though, we felt like we were running around constantly. If we were not doing that, we were baking, or making appetizers or something! We are exhausted. Our plans were to go ice fishing today. We were all ready to go, and we sat on the couch and kinda did the back and forth thing,"Do you want to go?" "Yea, do you?" Then we sat longer and looked at one another "Do you REALLY want to go?"..."Kinda" LOL...that went on for a good hour, before we both said, forget it, we will go this weekend. Dale gave me alot of nice things as usual, and he liked all his gifts. Scrappy acted like a real child, which we are always amazed at. He get's into the presents. Once Grandma & Grandpa Henderson gave him a gift that had treats in it, he was convinced ALL the presents under the tree had treats, and had his nose under there. Then he stole the Reindeer Dale got me from Hallmark. Oh well, he won, he is too cute to deny much!
Having your friends over the other night was great as usual. We exchanged gifts, even though they are NAUGHTY and were told to buy nothing. They are poor college kids. LOL They never cease to amaze us. With all the stress that life offers, they seem to stay on the right path and do the best they can. They are good people and will forever be in our lives.......because they choose to be I might add. Peter and Evan came upstairs to see your memory wall and xmas tree. I overheard them when I went into the kitchen talking in Dale's wildlife room (your old bedroom) about where your stuff used to be. How your room was laid out. Was sad, but at the same time heartwarming, they will never forget........
This year I had more holiday parties through work than normal. Or I should say I attended more than normal. I made myself go, and ended up having fun like I knew I would. Like I said before, how I handle the grief will lay the path for good times ahead. Actually I never laughed so hard lately as I did at Liz trying to win me that stupid star bowl from pottery barn. Then she tripped and broke it. I swear I never saw her laugh that hard either. Alot of good having her help me did. LOL! That's par for the course with Liz, she is accident prone. LOL Luv ya Liz! :) The Christmas lunch outing with the girls was fun. I gave Kris something we ALL needed by the time vacation started...a Margarita filled basket of goodies. Ah yes, what are friends for! :)
So back to work for Dale tomorrow, and off shopping for me. Only have one thing to return which is nice.
Merry Christmas Erik. We love you very much and miss you and your light hearted, positive outlook on life. Dale keeps wishing everyone a HAPPY CHANUKAH as you would say. LOL
Memories are not meant to be tucked away..(Pictures Included) / Mandy (Eriks Mom )Read >>
Memories are not meant to be tucked away..(Pictures Included) / Mandy (Eriks Mom )
I don't believe after someone dies that your memories of them should be tucked away in a box. Sure alot of their belongings get tucked away and taken out once in a while, but i think some of their things should be out. God does not put us on this earth to live, then die and be forgotten. This Christmas i wanted Erik's Christmas items out. So in the spare bedroom, i made a memory shelf of pictures of him at Christmas over the years. I had his bumbles that he collected, along with his snow globes and other little trinkets as well on the shelf. I put his stocking on the bed, which was his bed. I also put up the Christmas tree that he put up each year in his room. I decorated it as close as i could to what he always did. I even made the lights go crazy like he always liked them. I used to tell him it looked like a Las Vegas tree. LOL You would be blinded when you went up in his room. I find comfort with these things out, and yes, it's hard some days as well, but it's better than tucked away in a box like he never exsisted. In the picture below of his tree, i even put his nativity set up in the background. There are little pieces of Erik all over our house, and that is the way it should be. The things i do have tucked away in a box, are things i can't bear to have out all the time, things i take out when i want to have a good cry. Things like his clothes, and the last thing he wore that dreadful day......So remember, when someone dies, they don't have to disappear from your life. Surround yourself with their things, and keep their memory alive. :)
I was thinking about you the other when Dale stopped by Coborns the other day to get some food. I was figuring out the other day when I saw him, when was the last time I came to your website to say hi. It was along time ago. So, here I am saying hi to you. We all miss you and hope everything is going good up in heaven. Send down some hugs and kisses to your Mom and Dale. Everytime when I see them, they seem like they are doing alright on the outside. On the inside they still miss you every single day at every single moment when they come up with an item, or memory of you with them.
Envy has no place here.... / Mandy (Eriks Mom )Read >>
Envy has no place here.... / Mandy (Eriks Mom )
Speaking out for the parents who have lost a child....
There are people in this world, sick enough to take your loss and try to throw it in your face. This has been discussed many times in grief groups.
Not a lot of people, but a small percentage.
Let’s get one thing straight. Parents that have lost a child are the strongest group of people on earth. If we can get through this, we can get through anything.
There is NOTHING, i repeat, NOTHING that could ever replace our children. Not another child, not nothing.
No we are not overly sensitive, otherwise this would be happening all the time to us. Trust me, we notice WHO has ill intent, and who does not.
So, for myself, and my own experiences i say:
No one can replace Erik. I dont’ look at other people with their kids and envy them. They are not Erik, and because of the relationship i had with Erik it can’t be reproduced.
Erik can’t miss out on what he wasn’t meant to be here for. Therefore, i don’t feel I’m missing out on things anymore like i used too. God had a plan for Erik, and it is what it is.
If your the kind of sick person that would try to dangle something in the face of a parent that lost a child, as if to say, i have this and you don’t. Then trust me, i don’t want anything you have if you are that kind of person. Anyway, there is nothing you can dangle in front of me that would make me envious. Envy is evil. God brings into my life what is meant to be in my life. If it will hurt me or bring negativity, he won’t allow it anyway.
I would rather have only had my son for 16 years and have the relationship i had with him, then the unhealthy relationships most people have in a lifetime. I see the way kids treat their parents and the way parents treat their kids, and i'm amazed. Sadly it's nothing i would ever want. The violence and the disrespect is something i can't even comprehend.
The connection i have with my son even after death, and the unbelievable connection i have with god since my son was killed is overwhelming sometimes. So if you feel you can break through that with evil ways. Good luck.
I appreciate life more now than ever. I have experienced first hand how fast things can be taken away. So any ill intent someone has in mind for me, or anything you have that you think i’m jealous of. It’s funny, because you REALLY don’t know me at all if you think i care. I don’t have time to waste worrying about what someone else thinks i don’t have. I have so much and for the first time in a looooong time, feel content with the way my life is.
So for the few that think that parent who have lost children need to get over it and move on. We are moving on, we will never get over it, and i speak for myself, I’m OK. If it’s bothering you that much, perhaps YOU are not OK. If you have children of your own and you even think we should get over it, that’s pretty sick. This could happen to anyone, so watch what you say, it could be you someday. God forbid.
In Feb 2008 it will be 3 years since i lost Erik. I’m very proud of how i have handled it. It was a tough road but i know my boy is OK. The ultimate goal for every parent in the world should be for their children to make it to heaven. Mine did. Of course i wish it wasn’t so soon, but it was the way Erik’s life was to be. So for all the haters out there in this world. I’ll be by my sons side someday. Will you?
Bottom line:
You can’t take from me what i won’t allow you to have. God knows my heart. He knows my strength. He knows my intentions. He knows my attitude, and because he knows my attitude, he knows negativity, envy and jealousy have no chance with me! Try if you must to get under my skin. If you want to waste your life doing that, hey, have a fabulous time. I’m going to spend mine living.
Proud mom, Mandy
"Often the show offs of the world, have nothing to show for"
Touching more lives.... / Mandy (Eriks Mom )Read >>
Touching more lives.... / Mandy (Eriks Mom )
Hey Erik,
A woman at work wanted some of your memorial tags and bracelets from MFSD, to give to her kids. Her daughters boyfriend was driving fast the other day and spun around backwards into the ditch. So I brought her those things along with pictures of the car and the accident. I think sometimes even adults tend to believe that it's never going to happen to their kids. I didn't. She said the boyfriend said he usually never drives like that and has NEVER driven like that with her daughter in the car. YEA RIGHT! I told her to wake up, that is bull. The fact that he did it once was all it could have taken, so it was already one time too many. I think the pictures of your accident woke her up some. Your story will touch lives forever. It may not be as frequently in the years to come, but if it saves 1 life, it's worth it. Kare 11 Extra tonight should shed some light on the whole subject and wake a lot of people up!! If they think passing a law limiting how many kids can be in the car is going to help, I feel they are mistaken. Look at your accident, that had no bearing. They need to start focusing on the age kids are receiving their licenses and the punishment if you choose to be careless behind the wheel. Slaps on the hands are not cutting it anymore. I had some kids behind me on the way back from Litchfield last weekend who should never drive again. It takes everything in me sometimes to not stop my own car and get out and kick some teenage BUTT! They just don't get it, but they will when the punishments are much stricter. Anyway, I'm dead tired today, could not sleep for nothing last night. I hate that! My one new addiction since your death get's me through...coffee...yes, your mother is a coffee drinker now. Who would have thought?? LOL All the guys & girls at work corrupted me and made me one of them, A COFFEE DRINKER! Oh well, if it's the worst thing I do..LOL
Love you Erik, your saving lives, and laws will be changed to save other kids in the future!!
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