I wish you were here to help with the new roof. They delivered all the supplies today. It's kinda neat that Jeremy will be doing it. Dale is going to help where he can. Jeremy had Nick with him today, and he isn't 3 anymore! Those days when I did daycare seem so long ago. I was going to dig pictures out of Nick and Megan so I can tease him.
Anytime we did any improvement to this house you were so into it. You were so proud of this little house, because it was ours. It was a big deal for us to get his house being so young. It ended up being perfect for us and so many compliments on the inside over the years. I know you would have had your own construction business and doing similar to what Jeremy does. You would have loved every minute of it.
Scrappy is going insane already and driving me bonkers. Every little noise he hears or glance he get's of the guys working he is going crazy. I told him if it wasn't for the fact he is so cute and such a local celebrity around Delano, i would hurt him. LOL
Summer vacation and moving forward..... / Mandy (Eriks Mom )
To my son...
We are back from our vacation and had a really good time! We did a lot of new things and as usual, spent way too much money!! That is ok though, Dale got some neat things for himself, and we got some really nice stuff for the kitchen! I got a few things, but am happiest with the things for the kitchen. The hotels we stayed in were very nice! We are both looking forward to our next getaway this fall!!
On the way home I told Dale I realized this is the first time since your death that I didn't think about or feel the grief of losing you. We went and had fun and I didn't think about it at all, not once. He asked me if I felt guilty or bad about that and I said I didn't. He said that was good because I shouldn't. It means we are moving on. Obviously you will never be forgeotten and you will always be in my heart and thoughts. I will always do what I can to keep your memory alive, but moving on is healthy and necessary.
Today was my last day of summer school. We had a fun day. Now I have the rest of the month to get the kitchen done, and 100 other things! Then back to work! I also have to re-vamp your site. The kitchen is going to look so nice, it's a lot of hard work, but it's going to be so worth it. It will be completely done when we put the new floor in this fall. The new roof is scheduled to be done soon, and we will both be glad to get that over with! We are very blessed to be able to do all these things!
I know there will be many hard days throughout my life where I miss you so Erik, but I think we are over the very worst, the part that felt like hell on earth. I know you want us to live life and be happy. You will never be forgotten, even today I was asked about you and some details of the accident. I love you tons and we will be just fine, and I know you see that.
I had a fun birthday week, we did a lot of things. The Demo Derby was fun last night but it was SO hot and humid, and that part stunk. We ended up sitting next to a few guys that Dale graduated with that i also knew. Old neighbors. Dale also worked with one of their wives years ago. We ended up gabbing and realized how much we had in common, that we were all simple people that just liked having simple fun. We are going to get together with them. They have been looking for people to do stuff with as well, and it just FIT. I'm excited. They asked about you and your story. So people still want to know about you. I know they always will. They had seen your cross. One gave me the thumbs up when i said who i was and he realized that Dale and I are together. I thought that was cute. LOL We could have gabbed all night.
Anyway, the point of this post is because i just wanted to tell you again, how proud i am of you. It's the ultimate blessing to be able to be proud of your kids and who they are, and you have given me that pleasure! Everyone knows you were a great kid. Nothing can top that for a parent and i thank you for allowing me to be a parent that can say that! Even in your death you still make me proud, because your story saves lives! You were and still are a blessing that is priceless!
Anyone that new Erik, knew he loved the Simpsons. When I heard the Simpsons movie was coming out I knew Erik would have rushed right out to see it. I never cared for the Simpsons, I watched them a few times with Erik, but I'm not much of a cartoon person, so it didn't thrill me. I told myself when the movie came out I'll have to watch it in honor of Erik. We taped it off HBO the other day and ended up watching it this morning. I have to say for 2 people that didn't care for the TV show, we got into the movie and found it pretty funny! I think we will actually have to buy it. The bad part was now we both have that dumb song "Spider Pig" in our heads from the movie and have been making up our own versions all day. LOL
After I watched the movie and went and got in the shower, I got a little teary eyed remembering back to how Erik would watch the Simpsons upstairs and you would always here laugther and sometimes a burst of laughter from his room. He loved that show and i was glad to be able to remember so clearly what his laughter sounded like, because most days it's hard to recall. When Erik was just a little guy, around 2-3 years old, someone bought him a T-shirt with "BARTMAN" on it. If they only knew then the trend they were starting!
So Erik, in honor of you we watched the movie finally and yes, we liked it. It just confirmed for me why some of the things in your life were they way they were. Like your grades!!
Luv ya bud!
Mom
P.S. If I knew Melissa & Ronnie wouldn't kill me, I would make sure Ethan carried on the Simpsons tradition, but I'm thinking they won't go for that! If not, we can always wait until Cody or Ashley has kids! LOL
The 4th of July and the quarter game! / Mandy (Eriks Mom )Read >>
The 4th of July and the quarter game! / Mandy (Eriks Mom )
To my son:
I chuckled to myself when i saw the candle Peter lit about the quarter game. It was sweet he remembered.
Dale said the other day we will have to go play that game and try to win a knife like you always used too. Well last night we went down to the carnival. We were only going to go for a bite to eat. We ended up staying for hours and had such a good time! We played the quarter game, and guess who got addicted!! That would be Dale! LOL I can now see how easy it was for you to blow money on that game, and you always did! It's $5 for a cup of 50 tokens, like it always has been. It's also hasn't changed that the cup of 50 tokens, looks more like a cup of 30 and lasts 2 minutes! Dale won many little trinket things for me, and it's amusing how much i enjoyed them. LOL He also won a big purple monster, we decided Ethan would like it! I'm sure when it was all said and done, the purple monster cost $50. That's the fun of it.
Dale and i did that game for 3 year olds where you pick up the rubber duck out of the water stream. LOL Then we played bingo and as competitive as we are, we played and played and never won. We saw alot of your friends and Evan and Benson played bingo too. Evan got a new tattoo yesterday, it's really cool.
So anyway, i thought of you often last night and wished you could come enjoy life as you should be with your friends. Even though nothing can bring you back, it will never be fair that it's this way.
One thing we did learn last night, is that Dale and I would be in big trouble if we went to the casino and probably homeless. LOL
Hi, Mandy. I haven't got to read Erik's site for awhile. I was out of town for my niece's high school graduation for about a week and a half. I know what you experienced for Mother's Day, but I have 2 children who are alive who helped make the day special for me. I have a wonderful husband, like you, who helps me through my hard times. A lot of times, he is having a tough time, too. But he stays strong for me to make it through. I also have a faithful God who listens to my prayers and cries every time I need Him. He's the One who has helped me every time I need Him. I hope you've experienced God's comfort and peace, too.
That is so funny about Erik's tree. Maybe he did push it over!
I hope that you know that you can e-mail me anytime. I thank you for helping me through some of my rough days, and I want to help you, too. Erik had some wonderful friends, and I know they are stronger and wiser because of their friendship with him. Remember that God is watching over us, and our children are there with Him waiting for us to be with them one day.
Erik's tree bit the dust today!! Pictures included / Mandy (Eriks Mom )Read >>
Erik's tree bit the dust today!! Pictures included / Mandy (Eriks Mom )
Hi everyone!
We have a tree in our yard that is bent. It's been that way since we moved here 13 years ago. Erik has always wanted to cut it down because it leaned and because he figured it would come down eventually. Plus he just wanted something fun to do! Almost every summer he asked if we could take it down. I always told him, when the tree is meant to come down, it will come down on it's own. I was never worried about it hitting the house because of the way it was leaning. I suppose it could have hit one of us, but i guess i didn't think of that too much. LOL!
Well today in the wind, Erik's tree bit the dust! My neighbor called me and said "Do you know your tree fell over??" She said she was just standing in her yard and it didn't even make a snap noise, it just slowly went over like someone pushed it. I laughed and told her i just saw it.
I think Erik is laughing up in heaven now because he finally got his wish, and i can see him standing next to the tree, with one finger, pushing it over! So Dale will get the chainsaw from his dad on the way home from work and we will use the trunk of the tree to make a few birdhouses we wanted, in honor of Erik's tree.
It stood far longer than i ever thought it would, and it just couldn't withstand the wind today. Love you tons Erik. We get the message now, the tree needed to come down! LOL I'm just glad Scrappy wasn't in the yard at the time sleeping! In one of the pictures below Scrappy was totally puzzled as to why this tree was laying in HIS yard!!
Summer has begun! / Mandy (Eriks Mom )
Thoughts to my son..
Well today was my last day. Kris and i had to go in to do inventory and some paperwork, so now were done. I'll be a para again for summer school but that starts in July. I think i have 2nd graders this year, should be fun!
I can't help but think how much fun you would have helping Dale and I this summer with the projects at home. We are totally re-doing the porch that is attatched to the garage. It needs a major overhaul. We will start that soon. I know you would LOVE to help with that. Now you can just laugh at us while we do it. LOL We also have to repair the stucco on the alley side, not sure what's going on there.
All the rooms in the house are done the way we want except the back entryway and the kitchen. That's my new project this month. I'll repaint the back entryway and do a few things there. The fun part will be the kitchen. Because the house is over 125 years old i have always wanted a tin punched ceiling in the kitchen, we found out it's not that expensive and we are going to do that. Re-paint, re-do the cabinets, how i'm not sure and re-do the floor as well. I would also like to put in a new backsplash. This house meant so much to you that you always loved it when we did things to it. I wish you were here to help us. Plus you knew so much about everything, don't laugh at us when we have no idea what we are doing. LOL Hopefully there is no swearing involved. LOL It will be nice to have those things done. There are a few other things that need to get done too, but we can do those later, like a new roof. Even if we do end up moving out west, it will still be nice to do those few updates for when we sell. The house we want out west has dropped in price AGAIN, but with the economy the way it is, it's scary to just up and leave when we have good jobs here. We will see. Gotta take chances sometimes too.
I would like to find a part-time job as well, but we will see, there is not much available. If not i have other ways i can bring a little income in besides summer school. Ebay has never let me down before. :)
Wish you were here bud, to enjoy summer and hang out with your friends. Evan invited us to a KICK OFF SUMMER party this last weekendl. Dale called him and razzed him about it. We wanted to go, but that group is crazy enough when they are not drinking! I'm thinking it would have been crazy. We have to be the responsible adults ya know. LOL Watch over everyone, know that we miss you terribly and still can't believe your gone. Don't worry about things here, life is getting better and we will be just fine. We will never give up.
This Birthday-Mothers Day weekend.... / Mandy (Eriks Mom )Read >>
This Birthday-Mothers Day weekend.... / Mandy (Eriks Mom )
To my son...
So far this weekend i seem to be doing ok, but that always seems to be the way, things do not hit me until after the fact. I took your birthday off yesterday and celebrated by going shopping and buying myself stuff. I knew you would want that. HA HA! Tomorrow on Mothers Day i want to go fishing, and put your flowers out at the cemetary. We are cheating this year, i'm putting out fake flowers. They look good though. We just can't keep up with the real ones. They are in such direct sunlight out there, that they look horrible all summer. Dale just kinda left the day up to me, whatever i want to do. He bought me a lap top today, he is very bad! He ordered it for me, it's supposed to be the best one you can get right now with all the bells and whistles. He knows how to cheer me up on a sad weekend huh?? LOL It should be fun, i will get it in about a week. I think he is excited to get it too. I asked him if i still get presents tomorrow too, LOL, he laughed and said yes. WOOHOO!
I don't know what i feel right now. I told Auntie Lisa today i don't miss what i don't know i guess. I don't know you at 20. I miss not knowing what you would be doing with your life i guess. What you would have become. Something great i know that. I was getting irritated yesterday with all the Mothers Day commericals on TV, it was so often, i started to feel like it was being rubbed in my face. Obviously it wasn't, but i just wanted to tell the TV to shutup already. I guess i feel like i'm important in so many of your friends lives and other kids lives, that Mothers Day is not so tough i guess. I'll always be your mom, no one can take that away from me. I'm sure it will still be tough off and on, but i'll be ok. Dale does his best to make things special. Losing you will always be tough, and the last 3 years i hope were the worst. I have learned a lot from it, and what to do, and what not to do. It's been tough on us, but we will pull through. Dale and i both said things can only get better, you give everything to God, and you count your blessings, realize what you do have, and move forward. I wuv him. :)
So Happy Birthday to you Erik, and Happy Mothers Day to me. I'll never know you past the age of 16, but i'll always wonder what you would be doing with each year that passes. I can't miss grandchildren, or weddings, or events in your life that i was never meant to have from you. I would have had to HAVE them to miss them. I just miss YOU, your smile, your laughter, your everything. Anyway, we have plenty of kids around to make up for some of the things we do miss out on!
Green bean casserole and my maturity. LOL / Mandy (Eriks Mom )Read >>
Green bean casserole and my maturity. LOL / Mandy (Eriks Mom )
I thought of this memory the other day at work, and just wanted to share, it made me grin.
When Erik was going to meet his step mom Ann for the first time, I'm not going to lie, I was nervous and just didn't want to deal with it. He was 3 years old I think and hey, I'm human, it's hard. Well anyway, I was all ready when he came back visiting with his dad to see how it went and maybe secretly I hoped it didn't go well. SORRY, I'm human! LOL
Well Erik came home, his dad left, and from that point on my son taught me a lesson in being an adult, being mature, and doing what is right for your child and not yourself. Ann was the best thing in Erik's eyes since sliced bread. Ann did this and Ann did that, and Ann played with him and he had the best time!! I learned alot about myself that day, I learned how mature I was and how much my son meant to me. It didn't even bother me, I felt this huge sigh of relief and from that point on, Ann slowly became his second mom. I mean really, can you imagine if she was mean to him and didn't like him and he had to go there? You see it all the time, adults being immature and selfish when it comes to things like this. It's sad. I cannot tell you what it did for Erik's life to have his mother embrace his stepmother. For Erik to know he could come home and talk freely about her, and have me respond positively and be ok with it made Erik who he was. Ann and I talked some when Erik was growing up, but it wasn't until the last few years we talk often and I love it. We were his moms! It's wonderful and I know Erik is loving it. Every time he would go to visit his dad he wanted to know if Ann was going to be there. :)
So anyway, I don't remember exactly when it was, but the time I knew that Erik benefited from my attitude towards Ann and vice versa was one day at the dinner table. We were eating green bean casserole and Erik took a bite and he just as casual as ever said "Mom, Ann makes better green bean casserole than you do." and he just kept eating. He was that comfortable to make a statement like that. I remember doing the dishes that night laughing to myself thinking "WELL LA DE DA She makes better casserole." LOL!! I meant it in the nicest way of course. It was so funny, had to be there, but it just struck me, at how much it can benefit our children's lives when you are mature about things, even if it's hard sometimes.
The bottom line is, if there are more people out in the world that can love your kids or embrace them and WANT too, then why would you deny your child that? It's selfish and immature not too. My son left this world knowing so many people loved him, and he left never having to hear bickering or be in the middle of parents that couldn't be mature. That is a major accomplishment. He had 2 moms that loved him dearly and will never stop. Now we can share memories, laugh and talk about other things that are for OUR EARS ONLY! LOL
Love your kids and do what is best for THEM, not what is best for YOU. Encourage them to reach out to people, even if it's not something you want. If they are good to them....then why deny them that??
Here is my latest letter to the editor in response to the mock car crash event held at DHS last week. They ran an article in the paper about the simulated event. The article was titled, PROM NIGHT GONE BAD, and it was focusing on the outcome of drinking and driving.
Not just prom night and not just drinking and driving…
As a mother who lost my 16 year old son due to a reckless driving accident, I was pleased to hear that the DHS students would be participating in the simulated car crash last Thursday. Not only did we lose our son to a car accident, but also lost his grandfather this past January. He was hit by a drunk driver, and was killed instantly. No one has to explain to us, the seriousness of these topics, and if educating these kids saves one life, it was obviously well worth it. I feel however that parents need to be just as educated, as to whom their children are riding with, and their driving history. This time of year, kids are excited about Prom, graduation, the end of another school year and summer. There are many parties, and much excitement in the air, this alone can cause kids to drive in a way that can result in a deadly outcome. Passing one another, having a good time, kids need to realize that even innocent play can turn a vehicle into a deadly weapon. My son was an innocent passenger in “road play” that has changed our lives forever. I urge parents to stress often, to their teens, the importance of safe driving, and the responsibility that comes with having their license. Teach them that being a responsible driver is far more “cool” than being responsible for killing someone else. In a million years I could never explain to anyone the pain I feel from losing my son. I now spend my days trying to adjust to this new life, a life I never asked for, a life where my son, my only child, no longer lives. Erik Anderson, 1988-2005
Sympathys to you / Carol Fitschen (do not know )Read >>
Sympathys to you / Carol Fitschen (do not know )
Hello to the family of Erik,
Somehow I found a site for Minnesotans for Safe Drivers and while I was there I clicked on some of the names displayed. I came across Erik's name and this site while I was there. It really hit home - I am so deeply sorry that you have lost your son to a tragic accident that did not have to be. As I read your site, I see that he was just an innocent 16 year old out with a friend, probably laughing and having a wonderful time and not knowing what can take a life in less then a second. I know because I lost my son on February 1st of this same year to a somewhat similar accident. You and your family will be in my prayers and I will check back soon!
There are times in my life when my heart cries out so loud for you That I cringe, wondering what others might think and Then I realize That only I can hear the screams. They are a part of me like the blood rushing through my veins and the breath leaving my lungs.
Here is a collection of the tattoos family has gotten done in memory of Erik, or to honor god or in memory of everyone we love that has passed. :)
This one my nephew Cody got on his ribs recently. I love it, it made me cry. It's so cool....He said it hurt like BLEEP BLEEP! lol
Evan & Kale got the one below the day after the 3rd anniversary of Erik's death. They have the same one, the picture below is Kales. It stands for EEK...Evan Erik & Kale. It's something they used to have together...EEK TURF. ;) Very cool...
This one is mine (Eriks Mom) on my left leg. Love it. :)
This one is also mine, on my left ankle, the cross comes down over the top of my foot. This one hurt! LOL
This one is on Dales left forearm, it's beautiful! He get's a lot of compliments on it. He has another one, but it's of a buck, so it does not pertain to this theme. :)
So there you have it. I know there are a few more people that have tattoos in memory of Erik but i do not have pictures of them. I think it's a wonderful tribute and means so much. I do have one more to represent my love for music. That tattoo has extra special meaning because it was my first one, i got it in TN while visiting my sister, and Erik and my nephew Cody were with me and it was a good time. Good memory. :)
IT'S BEEN A HARD WEEK. / Dale (Step Father )Read >>
IT'S BEEN A HARD WEEK. / Dale (Step Father )
Erik, just want to start out by saying how much i miss you. It has been a hard week. Your mom and i miss you more than you know, as we prepared for your third year celebration for when you went to heaven. Things got a little stressful here,with the county sending us the actual crash site photos was real tough it brings up good and bad feelings and unswers question's. We try to figure out why and how come, although we always come back with the same answer it was your time, and that God needed you more than we did. Does it make it any easier on us? No. We will never understand fully until we personally get to join you in heaven. Last night is always fun with all your friends over, we just relax and enjoy hearing how their lives change and how they miss you . Most of the night is just having fun the air hockey tournament went well although i fell asleep playing peter, therefore peter beat me, but in the long run underdog T.J came out top dog. Peter was second and i beat Kale to take third place. With no help from me the men stomped the women into the ground, in the game sence it two. The bottom line is thanks for having such good friends that love being with us and sharing their lives with us, and most of all thanks for being in my life, and showing us how to live life.
As you celebrate your 3rd Anniversary in heaven, look down upon your family and send alot of sweet dreams and watch over each one of them. On September 1st, 2005 we lost 2 of our children. Our only daughter (Autumn Miller-Jackson) and our youngest son (Michael Miller) to a one vehicle accident just 1/8 of a mile from our home. Then on July 31, 2006 (less than a year) we lost our only other son (Gerald). After Autumn and Michael passed away our other son Gerald became so depressed that he more or less just gave up and his health deteriorated. The only comfort we have is knowing that all 3 of our children are together and that they will be waiting for us when it is our time to join them. The pain for us never gets any easier, all we can do is take everything one day at a time. We do have one granddaughter (Erin) and on November 25th, 2005 our niece gave birth to a precious little boy who was named after our youngest son (Michael Ryan). He is our little inspiration who came into our lives when we needed someone the most. Baby Michael spends just about every evening with us and also almost every weekend. We don't know what we would do if we didn't have him. Sending our thoughts and prayers to you and your family during this difficult day. Please feel free to visit our children's websites at:
3 years. Seems unreal.... / Mandy (Eriks Mom )Read >>
3 years. Seems unreal.... / Mandy (Eriks Mom )
I woke up this morning with tears. I told Dale the worst part is that I wasn't there for him when he was dying. Maybe god protected me that way. Getting the pictures in the mail yesterday from the county was something I needed, but it's been tough looking at them. You want to reach out and be able to touch Erik in the ambulance or the helicopter and tell him it's ok.
Dale went to the store to get me a paper so I could see the tribute we put in for Erik. He also got the early edition of the Sunday paper, because ironically the headlines is about Minnesota having the highest rate of teen crashes than any other state. He brought me a muffin, a coffee and 3 orange roses (Erik's favorite color) for the 3 year anniversary. A very nice card came along with all of it. It was sweet. We still have to get out today and put flowers at the crash site and at the cemetery. We are getting ready for all Erik's friends to come over tonight to celebrate and remember him. It's always a good time.
I don't know what I am on this 3rd anniversary. Sad obviously but in disbelief at the whole thing more than before I think. So unnecessary, all of it. Kids need to wake up and realize it's not funny, fun, or entertaining to drive your car irresponsibly.
People have no clue what it's like to lose a child. None at all. You can pretend in your mind you know, you just still have no idea. I have had people tell me they look at their child and then close their eyes and pretend they are gone and they will never see them again. I have had people tell me that while their kids are at school, they imagine them never coming back and what that must be like for me. Imagine all you want, you still have no earthly clue what it's like. You still "know" you are going to see them again no matter how hard you imagine.
Imagine not having to imagine anymore.....
I had my sons shoes out of the tote I keep his things in last night. Trying to figure out from the pictures the county sent me, what had happened. One of his shoes is visible in the car in the picture. I was looking for anything on his shoe that might give me a clue to anything. How his right leg was so broken mainly. I picked a piece of hair off his shoe, it was on the inside, it was his. They are on his letter jacket too.....Imagine holding that little piece of hair and having that be the closest thing left to touching your child.
So don't imagine anymore what it must be like. It's not something you even want to "pretend" to know or understand.
Love you and miss you Erik..and that's an understatement.
Tributes and Condolences
Dale won many little trinket things for me, and it's amusing how much i enjoyed them. LOL He also won a big purple monster, we decided Ethan would like it! I'm sure when it was all said and done, the purple monster cost $50. That's the fun of it. 
In one of the pictures below Scrappy was totally puzzled as to why this tree was laying in HIS yard!!
